My favorite poems are written for women that I’ve loved and for women that I’ve hurt,
amazing moments in my life, and relationships that didn’t work.
The map of this human heart starts at the age of 15
when I lost my virginity to a lady slightly older.
And like most younger boys, it was based on the many lies that I told her 
just to hold her and to show her that I had so much to prove,
like I had more experience than she thought I knew. And even though it wasn’t true, 
it was amazing. 
But it ended because I did what most young boys do: 
listen to the rumors and the lies of a fool, which ultimately led to this poor girl getting socked in the jaw in the middle of school.
And even though I didn’t do it,
I felt like I was the one to blame cause the girl who hit her was the cousin of my man who was saltin' my game
and even now, looking back, I feel sort of ashamed.
Next came
a handful of one night stands and in the back of my mind I thought it might make me a man,
but instead I think it was an invite for the rest of my life to be damned
for further examination of my affairs between woman and man.
I mean, man, it gets stressful.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, it always starts special,
but it seems to end with the grays of at the least bit neglectful,
and at the most disrespectful.
But then around the age of 19 it felt like I let go.
That’s when I fell for my first girlfriend
and it was like a whirlwind. I mean,
do you remember when that you felt that if you did not see her today, that it would literally hurt you in a physical way?
Well, that’s how it was the first time I fell in love.
Shit, I drove to my pop’s house in the middle of the night, woke him up, and told him I got bit by the bug. And
pops, he kind of looked at me with a smile in his eyes,
as if to recognize that, me,
I was moving on to the next part of my life.
You see, that was the first girl that that I made love to,
to a point of
tears
and I can still hear her whisper in my ear
that she could feel me... melt into her.... when I was deep inside her.
With a statement like that, I knew the feelings that she felt for me were not minor,
but major,
but then I, all of a sudden,
had this overwhelming feeling like...
I like no longer wanted to date her.
It’s not like I was tryin to play her,
I just I knew in my heart I no longer could stay there.
And...
So, that ended
as quickly as it started. And accusations of me being cold-hearted
and here I stand,
guilty as charged.
For it was Dinner. Chinese Food,
and I just stopped and said, “Yo,
I 'm just not into this no more.”


And she was silent....


Then I hit it one time in the car before I dropped her off at the front door.
And why am I telling you all this?
Cause recently I had the realization, or at least,
I have come to terms that in my many relations there were many lessons that I did not learn.
Even though I know I should have and could have been a better man,
and instead I let her land flat on her face instead of helping her to land on her feet. Sometimes I ache for the company of a woman to make me feel complete.
But that never works,
because before I can be happy with you, I gotta be happy with me.
Now the God in me is looking at the man I be,
f#*kin with mass girls, causing mass insanity,
with no thoughts of family,
just simply recreation,
but then I had the realization.
The dynamic of man and woman....
is creation.
And I’m not just talking about the creation of children,
I’m talking about the creation of a feeling:
life, love, and dedication, which ultimately ensues in the creation of a better me,
and the creation of a better you. See,
Sex,
Sex at it’s best, is creation.
But at least,
it should at least be concentration.
I mean, if I’m making love to you,
I should be making love to you.
You should be the first person that I see when I walk in the room.
And now, looking back at all that s#!t that I used to do,
nowadays don’t seem cool.
But tell me what the f%*k am I supposed to do?
And then a wise man gave me a clue
He said,
“The only way out is the way through.”