Welcome... i guess? =)

This is where I write about my life and (hopefully) figure out something about myself. I talk about what issues matter to me, from death and racism all the way to music and Childish Gambino.
I have 5 main personae (personas? idk, 5 split personalities) that I speak from: Puck, 8, Dubmac, Loverboy, and "?". They occasionally don't even agree on the same issues. ;)
Each identity is a facet of who I am. Each has a voice, an idea, a way of thinking. They're all important, and they make up who I am. So if you care to, read. Enjoy. Piece together my life, comment, follow, and learn about the real Mi8ke. Have fun ;)

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Knowledge of a Vapor (full)

I know that  I'm young. I get that. I know that to someone who's 50, i haven't yet begun to live. But aren't we all just vapors in the winds of Time? what is 36 years compared to eternity? My age does not depreciate my experiences, though i realize that there is still far more to know. Because I have had experiences, ones that are my own and that only I know. I've learned things in my 18 years of life some people still can't seem to grasp.
I've learned that people can love for the wrong reasons. I've learned that marriages sometimes just don't last, no matter how much you want them to, or how much it hurts... I've learned that sometimes, things don't happen for a reason. That you will always make a mistake, that failure is inevitable, and that life will hurt you. I've learned that trust is more fragile than a falling snowflake, and that to get it back, you'll have to go to the depths of Hell and back. I've learned that bad things happen to good people, and that evil prospers, that it is stronger than most things, fueled by greed, and hatred, lust and wrath.
But I've also learned that nothing is more powerful than real love. That life will keep going, that even if some things have no reason, other things do. That People can change. That If you try enough, you'll eventually succeed. I've learned that the feeling of total freedom is worth nearly anything. And I've learned that the work it takes to restore broken trust is worth it, because people are worth it, especially the ones you love. Because other people do matter in your life. Helping change someone else's life is how you change the world. how you give living a meaning.
The fact is, we are Vapors. It doesn't matter what religion you are, Time is bigger than any and all of us. It was there before we came into being, and when the world is no more, Time will continue. I've learned this in my 18 years. And i plan to learn more. and I will fail, i will make mistakes, i will be broken, and i will hurt. But i'll keep going. I'll keep moving forward, and keep loving, and helping, and trying to make a difference. I'll give the people who say i can't the finger, and prove them wrong. Because i can. I can, and i will, make it through whatever comes my way. I'll change the world. I'll change MY world. Because I believe in Me. But what do I know, I'm just another Vapor, right?


"When a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world it can cause a hurricane  in another part of the world."  
Author Unknown

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

What Am i Thinking Right Now?

That I never want to be without you. We love you so much.We had fun today. We couldn't think of a better time  than spending the entire day. I love you so much. Holding you... was perfect. <3 And... >=).... was fun too. <3 I know (knew) I could control myself. not gonna say it wasn't hard though. <3 That movie sucked, but it was so worth suffering through for you. <3 That's all we have to say now.... It was... Fun <3
"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued,
 is always beyond our grasp, but, 
if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I'm Sorry

Mittens, I'm so sorry. Please don't let this be the end. I love You. We all love you. I got angry and impulsive and I didn't think about the consequences of my actions. Please don't leave. LB is Bawling. Randy and Lizzy are Afraid somethings wrong with Us. Our pillow is soaked and We now have a massive headache. We love you so much it's crazy. We don't want anyone else. Just You. We're trying to be better for you cause we know we're effin things up the way We are now. Just love us... Please? I'm sorry.... Sweet dreams Beautiful...
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. --C.S. Lewis"
-Puck

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Knocking on the door...

I'm not sure about who I am. I'm crazy... and unsure... moody and bitter sometimes.... I can be a real Ass.... And for a genius, I'm pretty stupid... But We love you... And You make Us feel complete and right, and perfect... and We aren't going anywhere. We're gonna stand by you, even when you ignore Us, or cast Us off. Cause We know you love Us just as much. And You say you're crazy.... Who isn't? We know We are... heck, We had to split our personalities just to keep things together. But the trick is knowing how to let yourself go sometimes.... We love you. Sweet dreams baby...
"A man who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key."
~Paul Valéry,Mauvaises pensées et autres, 1942